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Beyond Design Podcast

Why we need to stop designing lives we constantly want to escape from.

December 4, 2025

Why we need to stop designing lives we constantly want to escape from.

Let’s be honest.
Most of us hit December and only then realise how exhausted we actually are.

Suddenly the air feels lighter.
People are nicer.
We can almost smell the beach or the Christmas tree or whatever “end of year” smells like for you.

And then you think,
“Why am I only feeling like this now? Why do I wait all year for this?”

That’s the problem.
We live like we’re only allowed to breathe in December.

The moment everything clicked for me

I remember this so clearly.
It was December.
That December vibe was everywhere.
I was still working at the agency.

Everyone was dragging themselves to the finish line.
And I sat at my desk thinking,
“Is this really it? Is this how life is supposed to be?”

Work 48 to 50 weeks in full hustle mode
just to “earn” a handful of days where you actually feel human again?

It didn’t make sense to me then,
and it still doesn’t now.

That was honestly one of the moments that pushed me into freelancing.
I didn’t want to design a job I constantly needed to recover from.
I wanted a life where pausing wasn’t something I had to wait 12 months for.
I wanted it to be part of how I lived — daily.

We’ve confused busy with important

Somewhere along the line
we started believing that being constantly busy equals being valuable.

Reply now.
Post now.
Say yes now.
Don’t fall behind.
Do more.
Be more.

And as creatives we fall for it easily, because our work never fully “ends”.
There’s always something else we could be doing.

But here’s the thing:
When was the last time you felt deeply connected to your creativity?

Not just “I made something.”
But that feeling of,
“This came from somewhere deep inside me.”

If it’s been long,
you’re not broken.
You’re probably just tired.
Too rushed.
Too stretched.

Creativity doesn’t grow in chaos.
It grows in quiet.

Two books that reminded me of what I already knew

I recently came across The Power Pause and The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.

Different books.
Same message:

Slowing down isn’t giving up.
Slowing down isn’t weakness.
Slowing down is wisdom.

We think pausing means losing momentum,
but most of the time a pause is where we come alive again.

The fear that shows up every time

Let’s just say it plainly.
The moment you even think about slowing down, the fear kicks in:

“But I’ll fall behind.”
“But everyone else is moving faster.”
“But what if I miss out?”

Behind who?
The people burned out?
The people who never see their kids?
The people “successful” on paper but anxious at night?

That’s not the life I want.
And I don’t think it’s the life you want either.

In my own business, every time I slow down, something shifts.
When I pause, I hear myself again.
I make better decisions.
I say no more.
I stop replying from panic.

And the work I do take on?
It feels more “me”.
It feels better.

So no — slowing down doesn’t make you fall behind.
You just stop following the wrong people.

What pausing looks like in a normal, messy life

Let’s keep it real.
I’m not talking about disappearing to Bali for three months.

I mean the small pauses that fit into your actual life:

  • Making coffee and sitting with it
  • Not opening Instagram before 9am (this one I try, and when I manage it… my brain thanks me)
  • Leaving space between calls
  • Saying “Can I get back to you tomorrow?” instead of replying in panic
  • Finishing your tea before jumping to the next thing
  • Sitting outside, even if it’s too hot or too windy

It’s simple.
It’s not fancy.
But it changes everything.

Why do we only live like this in December?

December has this soft, slow, relaxed energy.
Kids are out of school.
People wear sandals again.
Life feels a little lighter.

But here’s the question:
Why do we save that feeling for one month of the year?
Why do we treat rest like a reward?
Why do we think we have to “earn” slow days?

What if your days felt like this in March?
In July?

What if rest wasn’t something you escaped to,
but something built into your normal life?

Because the truth is:
You don’t need to escape your life to rest.
You just need to design it differently.

5 small pauses that make a difference

Here are a few things that help me pause when the world wants me to rush:

  1. Don’t open Instagram before 9.
    Every time I manage this, my brain feels clearer.
  2. Build a buffer.
    Stop stacking meetings and calls back-to-back.
  3. Finish your tea before moving on.
    Simple grounding moment.
  4. Sit outside(trust me).
    Nature resets you. Every single time.
  5. Breathe slower. Move slower.
    Your whole nervous system follows your pace.

And I want to add this, because it’s honest:

Even though I know all of this…
even though I say it out loud and I teach it…
I still sometimes feel like a failure when I pause.

Like resting means I’m not doing enough.
Like quiet is lazy.
Like I’m falling behind.

But then I breathe.
And I remember:

We weren’t made for rush culture.
We weren’t created for constant speed.

We were made to bring peace — real peace —
into our homes, our work, our clients, our emails, our designs.

And that peace starts inside us.
In the pause.

A small reminder for you, friend

Pause is not a break in your journey.
It is part of the journey.

You’re not lazy.
You’re not behind.

You’re tired because you’ve been trying to meet a standard that was never made for you.

You’re allowed to design something better.
Something slower.
Something sustainable.
Something that feels like you.

Thanks for reading.
Take your pause today — even if it’s just five minutes.
Design your life, wherever you are.

P.S.
If you’re feeling stuck, drained, or like your creativity’s gone quiet — this is your sign.

RESET is my free 21-day Creative Reset Challenge.
It’s gentle, simple, and it only takes about 5–10 minutes a day.

No overwhelm.
No pressure.
Just small, powerful prompts to help you come back to yourself —
your ideas, your inspiration, your creative voice.

Because you don’t need to burn out to begin again.
You can reset now.

✨ Join the challenge here → www.kunshuis.com/reset

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Hi, I’m Nelett—graphic designer turned creatives' life mentor, lover of good coffee, deep chats, and helping fellow creatives design a life that actually fits. I’ve run my own studio for over 15 years, and trust me, it’s been anything but a straight line. These blog posts aren’t polished lectures—they’re letters. From one designer to another. Honest, sometimes messy, often hopeful. Because I believe the real magic happens beyond design. Welcome, friend—you’re in good company here.

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